Growing up to the age of 10 somewhere other than San Antonio, I lacked some essential survival skills known to everyone else in middle school. Knowing the difference between a regular taco and a breakfast taco was most definitely one of them. I don’t know if the experience was so bad that I blocked it out of my mind or it was just so unmemorable that I literally just can’t remember eating lunch at school in England. But I still have seared into my memory almost everything about this horrifying experience in Texas.
Milk was not poured into glasses, it was drank from a wax covered cardboard box with a top that was absolutely impossible to open without spilling it everywhere but apparently had the insulative properties that managed to be frosty cold on the outside but leave the contents luke warm like it had just been harvested from the cow. It was not possible to ever get a so-called “hamburger” that didn’t have a soggy bun stuck to the wet meat and no matter how much of it you tore off it ALWAYS tasted of that disgusting wilting cucumber slice that had been rotting in a vat of vinegar and overbearing amounts of Dill. There are not enough tiny un-openable ketchup packets in the world to cover the Pickle taste once it has cast its foul stain on any paper/foil wrapped food substance. And the only thing worse than a nutritionally devoid and inedible joke of a meal called a corn dog, is a corn dog with commercially added yellow color staining mustard. Mustard also ruined the ham sandwiches that were offered on other days when the mayo ones had run out. I even tried to wipe it off and use Fritos in the sandwich to cover the taste. During that failure I also managed to cut one of my gums on the edge of a particularly hard corn chip. So much for food experimentation. Apparently South Texas has way too much corn since it is crushed and made into so many different attempts at sustenance. As far as I can tell Doritos in one of the millions of flavors they are now available in must be the answer to corn farmers prayers, I have literally seen people use the as fish bait. But that’s another story…
There were only two reasons I didn’t fade into non-existence eating at school, soggy rectangular with tiny cubed topping, sorry excuses for pepperoni pizza, and Enchilada Wednesday. Since this is about Tex-Mex I will skip my weakness for anything and everything pizza and talk about the Enchiladas. The first week they were offered I had no clue. I was so disappointed and disgusted by hamburgers and then corndogs, that the steaming sticky gooey brown chunky gravy and cheese pile on my plate had no chance of ever getting to my mouth. I might point out that in my younger days, not only was I partially asthmatic but I also had terrible sinus allergies, so I’m not sure I remember any smells until I was over 22.
I don’t know if I was starving or if someone talked me into it, or I just gave up on having any standards or self worth, but after about a month I actually tried it. OMG, this stuff was truly amazing. It was warm and flavorful and even came in two options, straight cheese or meat with meat gravy, I had no clue about what was with it, turns out it is wrapped in a corn tortilla. I just knew it was delicious and I could get a second helping easily if I asked the lunch lady politely with my english accent. 😉 I still won’t eat a corn tortilla by itself unless it is deep fried or in enchiladas. But even at my “advanced age” I am still discovering the joys of Tex-Mex cuisine.
To be continued…
