Well I wouldn’t exactly call it trash, but the previous owner was pretty much over it and all of it’s “issues”. Mr. Spreadsheet called me yesterday with a very nice offer. His girlfriends, daughter is done with her Tahoe. I had mentioned to him that if he is about to trade something in please let me know because I may be interested. This is exactly what was about to happen. It is a 2008 Chevy Tahoe. While it isn’t 4 wheel drive, it does have the LS1 5.3L V8. As long as it hasn’t been trashed this is a good base for a vehicle. Now how do I explain to my Bride that while I still haven’t exactly got rid of any vehicles, but my truck running now, so I should buy another vehicle (that needs work)? Hell I’m not even convincing myself.
Since her Dad is staying with us and his car is still at the mechanics, he could use this. Well, that is right after I go through it to make sure it is safe to drive…. Maybe I should just be honest with her and hope it doesn’t blow up in my face. After a quick discussion she only has a couple of questions, How much, how old, and how broken. The price is indisputable, the truck is two years newer than her H3 and how broken is truly an unknown. We decide to at least check it out and if it is too broken I will pass. Frankly too broken for me would mean the frame is bent at a 90º angle or an axle is completely missing. But I leave that part out.
Next day (Sunday) we head over to check it out. I retrieve a 5ft long speaker box with two 10″ subs in it that apparently was in storage but goes with the truck. I grin, my bride grimaces. The Truck is pretty solid, there are small dents in various panels for no apparent reason. The white paint and dirt hide the extent of the external damage. The mirror is half ripped off, the front bumper cover is also ripped. Most of the interior is worn, especially the control surfaces so I have no idea what the controls on the HVAC are supposed to say. But the key turns and it starts right up. Nice. It runs quietly but with a hesitation and the lights on the dash look like Windcrest in December. My bride smiles but asks how a massive drivers side mirror could have lost its cover completely. It does look unsightly but woah, is that the AC working???
The owners mother mentions it seems to need oil, A LOT. So I decide to pull the dipstick. hmm nothing. I casually mention it could do with some and she returns with a 5 L bottle of 20W50. I empty half of it into the filler neck and give it another dip. Half way up. That should work. I notice that both the valve covers are dribbling oil out of their gaskets like a 3 year old with an over full diaper. The overflow tank has some fluid, that’s good. But I notice some questionable wiring and wire routing that I know has and will continue to cause issues, so I close the hood. I look pleased, my bride is not frowning, and thinks this might be a step up for me. So she heads home while I take care of the paperwork. The title is right there and signed in the correct spot. Normally this is where someone would take out a wad of cash, or if known to the other party would write a check, (you may need to google that one kiddo) but in these days of instant gratification. I let her know I will zelle her the money. Sadly there is a limit on what can be sent daily so it won’t be quite as instant, but easy for sure.
Thanking them honestly and profusely, I make my exit to get more accustomed to my new steed. What do you name a large white SUV? Trigger? I will have to work on a name too. I get on the road and watch the temp gauge. It is already 97º according to the temp gauge on the rearview mirror. Oh YEAH! The same mirror functionality I am about to put in Betty, sweeeet. In temps this high it is easy to over heat an engine. I get a little concerned when it starts edging toward 210º. I call Mr. Spreadsheet who doesn’t think it has an overheating issue and mentions that she just drove it 250 miles so it should be ok. He also mentioned on his truck it runs at 210º as a normal temp, but his is also a diesel. I look at the gauge again and notice that it only has 3 numbers. 0 at bottom left 210 int the middle at the top and 666º (or something like that) on the right. So I assume since all the other gauges (not the speedo, or gas gauge) have a normal running target at the top, this is the normal range and I relax a little. Speaking of gas gauge it is showing empty. Doh! It could be a bad gauge or it could be empty, either way i need to fill it to know how far I can go.
Turns out there is nothing wrong with the gauge. I mount back up and hit the highway headed for home. I start clicking through the Info center now I have familiarized myself with the location of the controls. It has the check engine light, but also says, change oil soon, check tire pressure, and low washer fluid. I have my OBD2 computer and hook it up. It recognizes the vehicle and shows me the only code responsible for the light on the dash. Random misfire. Damn, I was hoping it would say which cylinder was misfiring. Well it could be easy like an air leak past the map sensor or it could be difficult like a clogged fuel filter that will be difficult to narrow down. Either way they are not expensive, but are time consuming. If it was just a coil, they are expensive but easily replaced. I would imagine this truck probably has its original spark plugs. I may need to start making a list of parts.
I scroll through the management system again and get to the TPMS. it shows:
- Front left 38 Lbs.
- Front right 38 Lbs.
- Rear left 40 Lbs.
- Rear right 15 Lbs.
Wait, What??? 15 Lbs. If that is right this damn tire could let go any minute and I am on HWY46 in the hills doing 65mph. I remember there is a new gas station on the turn off to Canyon Lake and take the exit gingerly. I find the air pump and ponder if there are any quarter in the truck. Air used to be free, but that’s just a dream, then it was 25¢ then 50¢ etc. Now it is $1.50 and it takes credit cards. I guess we can call that progress. Whatever. I pump the tire up to what the crap gauge on the hose says is around 40 PSI. Turns out it was 35, close enough.
I take the opportunity to check under the hood. Everything is still there, nothing is leaking and nothing is smoking. All good signs. I re-check the oil and it is still at 1/2 mark on the dipstick. Then I remember the warning about being low on windshield washer fluid. I enter the store and purchase some $4.35 for a gallon, I thought this crap was 99¢. Man I am getting old. I pour about a quarter of it in the tank and step back to make sure it isn’t just pouring out the bottom. Score, it is in the tank. I go ahead and empty the bottle into the tank and close up the hood. That latch is sticking and need some lube, I will have to do that when I get home too.
Back on the road, there are fewer messages and lights, and I decide to check the pump and wash the windshield. It works beautifully. Nice. The controls for the AC are obliterated as far as labels, turns out this is a common issue. It is cool and feels awesome so I take the opportunity to look at the stereo. I know the sub is not hooked up so I don’t expect much and I get it. It doesn’t have any phone controls built in but it does have an aux in so I may be able to use that. Looking around some more, the dash top is cracked, a lot. In fact it is cracked in about 8 places. It is Sun damaged and cracked some more. This is another fabulous GM product made from crap plastic that can’t handle life in Texas. For now a carpet dash cover will make it look a lot better.
I play with the radio some more and click on CD, and winner winner, chicken dinner! It starts to play. The previous owner may not be a born mechanic, but she has awesome taste in Music. The familiar slow grind of Malcom’s rhythm syncopated with the bass player and the drummer in lock step, Angus’s staccato attack on the lead guitar and Bon Scott’s Double Entredre lyrics sung with the filthiest of intents fills the truck letting me know that she’s got the jack. And I think to myself, she probably got more than that but she’s mine! Oh, happy day.
