Have you ever really wanted something that you know you deserve and then when you finally receive it you realize that you got it for all the wrong reasons? This just happened to me. I’m surprised at how much it is bothering me. I have worked very hard for this reward, I have done everything that it takes to achieve it and I today I finally got it. When this well deserved achievement was announced there was a short explanation to go with it that really seemed to sully the result. The reasoning given made me feel that me getting this reward was actually just a side effect from an action that would benefit the person that took so long to bestow it on me.
Am I happy I received it?
YES!
Do I still deserve it?
Absolutely!
Does it feel right?
Not really
If this sounds very convoluted it is because I don’t want to expose the person or even seem ungrateful. Either way, I got something I deserved for the wrong reason and I need to just be happy I got it and understand the next thing I am going to deserve may take me moving on to get it.
Oh well, Yay me for achieving something that just happened to be given to me by a person that was motivated to give it to me by personal gain.
